Happy Nude Year! It's 1-1-11 !!!!
This year is going to be different. I'm sure a lot of people are saying that today butt this IS different. There's something about 11. Can you feel it too? Change may be showing up late butt it's still showing up to the party. Fashionably late I suppose. Change change change. It's the only constant in the universe witch is an ironic thing what with the constant-ness and all. That's the thing about life, we live in an ironic universe with the circumstances being as such. That would explain a lot of things wouldn't it? Butt it's a layered onion type of thing as well. And with each layer comes another layer of irony. I always try to remember that if I think I have it all figured out it's probably the exact opposite of what I'm thinking.
I'm laying off the Facebook. I bet Mark Zuckerborg hates New Years Resolutions. I plan on keeping my account active and keeping it as my contact info for friends and family. I'm basically treating it like Linked-In. I'll still probably log in everyday and say "happy birthday" to my peeps butt that's about the extent of it. I could use it to keep up with people and make plans for events butt really, most of those people are from my past and I'm done living in the past. That's so 2010.
I'm quitting smoking cigarettes. It's the worst thing in my life. This girl I like doesn't smoke and she's got a kid. I don't want to lose them. If I can't quit for my own good, and believe me, I've tried, then perhaps I can quit for someone else. It suits my personality better that way anyway. Plus that shit is expensive. I never used to like smoking. I started late. I would always bitch to my friends and parents about smoking and was basically a goody-two-shoes for a lot longer than most of my peers. Butt then I did start. I think I started so that I could at least put the control in my hands. I was sick of breathing second hand smoke. It felt like I was smoking already. When people are forced to experience something that they don't choose to, especially at an early age, they tend to find ways to get some sort of control over it. Like prostitutes. Most of those women were sexually abused as children. Sad fact butt even sadder that it gets perpetuated by the victims themselves. Anyway, I guess I had my lungs raped by second hand smoke and decided to take measures into my own claws. Stupid stupid stupid. Like I said, it's an ironic world.
I need to grow up-ish. I've denied myself the pleasures in life like some sort of literal Jedi code that I've applied to myself. Things that most people have and take for granted. Things that put them perilously close to financial ruin butt that's another discussion for another time. Some of these things I consider to me "wants" instead of "needs", something I must have taken very seriously at some point in my development. And it's not like I feel a need to achieve these basic needs for myself either. I want to provide. I want to have a family. These are things I never aspired to yet the majority of the world has. I gave up on them to be honest. I never should have though. These are the important things in life. I do value them. I want them for everybody. I won't flush the achievements of all our ancestors down the drain in pursuit of some idealistic Utopian vision because in reality I may be on to something butt there is a better vision, a better idealism. It's a matter of valiance and priorities. A major priority in my life right now is helping support my new friend and her daughter. Yes it's love. Thing is, I can barely support myself yet I keep giving and giving everything I have away to people that appear to me to be in worse of situations. Or maybe they have puppy-dog eyes. Thing is, I want to support a family. I've had a change of heart and mind. Butt it's like when you're on a plane and they explain the procedures for emergencies and they get to the oxygen mask part and they explain that the adults should put their masks on first so that they can help the children put theirs on without blacking out mid process. It sounds counter-intuitive butt that's the reality of the situation. You can't help someone unless you help yourself first. That's a cold, hard reality. So if I want to, or you want to, help someone else you have to make sure you are capable. Don't leave someone hanging on a false hope. Who likes to be disappointed, right? So I gotta hunker down and come up with some creative ways of creating income. This shouldn't be a problem. I feel so stupid for taking the lowest paying, laziest job I could find. I just thought society was going the wrong way. I WAS right about that butt I was wrong about putting myself in a position of looking like a victim of society. It's twisted. It's ironic. I know. It's over, I'm done with it. I've changed and I'm moving on. Society was moving in a direction that did better itself, just not the most practical way. I see God's hand behind it all. He gave houses to people that couldn't afford them because He wanted them to have houses. And he needed some bait for the evil people to test their faith. I'm going on a diatribe here so I just say I need to make more money so I can support a family, not so I can bling and be a self centered snob.
I'm also cutting back on the weed. Marijuana. I was way late on smoking pot. All my friends were doing it and I was that guy that didn't smoke or drink or do anything. Yet somehow I was the "crazy" one. Look, the whole "medical marijuana" argument is fine. In fact I spent a few prime years of my life condoning a reexamination of our legal and ethical stances on the topic in regards to medical application. However, I think the main reason for legalization of the substance would have to be that it can bring you closer to God. At least that's how it is for me. There is a spiritual element to it that no one ever seems to talk about in public. Talk about it! Marijuana brings you closer to God! There are ramifications that I will concede too as well that are talked about either such as accidents. Lots of accidents. I won't go into that right now butt yeah. Here's another thing that is most important about marijuana. So many people want this plant legal for a variety of reasons butt I will say that if there is an evil person or persons on this planet that have big, Hollywood inspired agendas, well, then they want it legalized too. They would use it as bait, a lure for your votes. Think about it. That's why it has the taboo of being the gateway drug or the Devil's lettuce or whatever. It's because when sh*t's about to hit the fan the Devil say's "I'll legalize weed." I'd just keep that in mind if I were voting on it's legalization in the near future.
I'm going to be healthier. This is another big one. And for the most part I am healthy. Except for the smoking on top of asthma (stupid) I'm doing alright. I don't eat much meat, I eat my vegetables. I go for walks. I'm not overweight. As a matter of fact I'm a few pounds under weight. Something I don't like having people point out to me. I don't point out that they are overweight to them. I do feel inspired to bee even healthier though because last week I ate nothing but fruit one day and felt like a zillion bucks. I hadn't had that much energy in a long, long time. I felt like a teenager.
What else is different about this year? I guess that's up to everybody else.
Photoshop. I need to bust some Photoshop. I am soooo behind on developing my skills at this thing yet somehow I know that this is where I'm going to do well. Really it's just a bunch of buttons. There's always Undo. I occasionally do some collages butt that's sort of hard in it's own right. You have to match not only colours and themes butt sizes as well. Photoshop kind of solves a lot of those problems. When people talk about creating jobs and being green and all that modern jazz I always come back to creating things on line. Like art. I think if we as a culture put more value on art there would be a lot more jobs. Even apps. Distribution is super green, all you have to do is upload. You're not chopping down trees or anything. The internet is great and green for distribution. Think of all that paper being saved and all of that oil not having to be burned. I figure you can do one piece of art and use that same file to put it on a T-shirt or a coffee mug or a poster or something. It's several things in one if you do it right. That's a revenue stream. And the more I make the more I make. There's no reason why a kid in Africa can't learn the same skills as an American and pull himself out of squaller thanks to the internet. We are on course for a new, unified world. These tools are for everybody. I'd be a dum ass if I didn't learn to use them.
