LIVING IN THE LAND OF THE LOST

This is a message from Lord Zorlak, who is actually me from another dimension.  (he has the ability to control/look out for me from beyond this realm)

"Earthlings!  The new "Land Of The Lost" movie staring Will Ferrell is coming out soon so I suggest you take a break from your mundane life and get primed for it over at Hulu.com.

"A lot of you humans seem to think that the old show looked cheap and lame.  Well, I think to you that you could make your own movie of the same caliber with today's available software for a fraction of the cost."

TOTALLY TUBULAR / TWEET MY TWITTER

You could check out my Youtube Page if you really wanted to.  I haven't added any videos yet because they are all currently on a server of mine in the future.  Feel free to add me as a friend or subscribe now because it'll only get bigger and it's good to get in early.  If you want, you can send me your videos are videos that you think are the hottness and maybe I'll post them too!

While you're at it, check out my cosmic tweets @ Twitter/TiggerOaks.  Follow me, I'll follow you.  Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.  You know how it works.  Sort of like the last song on Abbey Road...

SEARCHING THE COSMOS

I typed the word "cosmic" into the search bar and got some interesting results that I've already come across but figured they were noteworthy of sharing.

This first one is from Marc Bolan of T-Rex fame.  It's a cosmic performance of "Cosmic Dancer" from Electric Warrior.  One of my favourite albums of all time.  It's an excellent disc for cruising with the top down, dancing with some hotties, or flying around in a UFO.  If you don't own it I suggest you get it.  

This next little cosmic gem is from Carl Sagan, the stoned out, cosmologist that caught the world's attention with his show "Cosmos" and his brilliant intellect.  This guy was a total visionary.  Here he puts us in a perspective of a cosmic timeline where we occupy the last day of a cosmological year.  I wasn't kidding when I said cosmic.

We're going to round this up with "Cosmik Debris" by Frank Zappa.  Pretty much everybody knows that this guy was a freak but did you also know he was fucking brilliant?  Here he tears it up with his band on a little ditty about the junk in life that will tear you down.  His estate hasn't been all that liberal with the whole online availability thing but he does have some interesting stuff for sale at Amazon.  To get his actual albums you actually have to get off your hippie ass and go to the store.  Check out this underrated, highly influential, brilliant musician if you dare.

BACK 2 SCRATCH / WAVING HELLO

Yes, it's been a bit since I last kicked it up in here but now I'm back to scratch my claws.

I've got to say that the past few weeks have been magnificently stellar for me.  I have made some advances in neuroplasticity, built stronger relationships, skateboarded, discovered hidden treasures and perceived the rarest forms of knowledge with integrity and the light of wisdom.  

I have been prodded by myself and others to discard the limitations imposed upon myself.  No more handicaps for me.  I'm hoping I'll be able to shake these die hard habits easily.

My goals in life have been accomplished.  Everything I've worked for has been achieved for the team.  Somehow I find myself still showing up for practice first thing in the morning even though the team just won the championships.  I need new goals, this I know, but where to set my sites?  My life has presented me with the full gambit of perceptions, from prince to pauper and everywhere in between.  I know I don't want to be either of the extremes.  I've learned those to be false finishing lines.  The truth resides within the middle.  Like when you surf you don't want to be at either the top or the bottom of the wave.  At the top the wave just passes you over and you never get a chance to ride it.  At the bottom, if you get on too soon, the wave will crash upon you it won't be pretty.  Like any good surfer knows, you've got to be in the spot and time it just right.

I think I just need a number to shoot for.  Not zero.  Not one-thrillion and one.  I'm talking money here.  As much as I dislike attributing a value to a human life I think this might be the solution I need.  Whatever that number may be I hope it allows me to reach out with both hands and to touch the top and the bottom of the social wave.

I'm so totally looking forward to riding the Google Wave.  Shooting the Tube.  I have confidence that this innovation will be a hit.  I could have spent years helping to develop this technology but I had some other people do it for me so I could kick back and enjoy life for a little while.  This is the wave of the future and I hope it doesn't crash.

CUTTING MY TEETH / FILLING THE GAP

I have a chip in my front tooth.  I've chipped it five times already.  This time all I did was open my eyes in the morning.  After having it happen so many times I began to look for a meaning.  I've had this chip for a year now.  I know humiliation now.  I know the standards of social acceptance.  I've learned self consciousness like I've never know it before.  It has ripped my self respect to shreds.  

It's the most minor thing.  It's only about a square millimeter on my right front tooth.  But people notice it.  I notice it.  I don't know why I did it for so long.  It only cost about $50 to fix.  They kept saying it'd be fixed this time.  

So I've had it up to here with the self deprecation and decided to go to the dentist and get this bad boy fixed up along with whatever damage there be in there.  I'm online looking for a new dentist because the last one scared the shit out of me.  He stuck the novacane needle in the wrong side of my mouth last time he had to do some work.  It just wasn't a good match.  I get my bony ass up and go down the crooked steps of peril to greet my lovely roommate as she gets home.  She's in the middle of talking to her bo about how she got her picture taken at the dentist for her pretty teeth.  They wanted to hang this picture in the lobby or something.  She can't stop raving about her dentist.  Who the hell does that?  Rave about your dentist?  I tell her I was just looking for a new dentist online so she gives me a business card.  How cool.  This stuff happens to me all the friggin' time.  Every day some strange coincidence.  Several times a day with regular frequency.  I'm still amazed by it and have pursued a further understanding of this phenomenon which I'll go into sometime when it's cool to do so.

So I got this business card of a highly recommended dentist from someone I trust.  And I'm scared to go.  My life is a pitiful wreck ever since I decided to rock the chipped tooth.  Maybe one of the worst decisions I've ever made in my life.  I must really hate myself.  

People will talk to you and and then when their eyes notice a chipped tooth they have to look away.  Then they won't look you in the eye the anymore for the rest of the conversation.  I know it's not anything I say because even friends I know instantly flipped modes as soon as they noticed it.  They might think lesser of me.  I think it's culturally ingrained and not their fault at all.  I bet I've done it before myself in some form or another.  The averting of the eyes trick.  Slick.  So now I now what that feels like.  I never really found any other meaning during this experiment.  Some people can look past it.  Those people rock.  They are looking deeper into someone than just what's on the surface.  I've learned that image is more important than I gave credit to it.  I've always tried to be a deeper spiritual person and be artistic at the same time.  I've made decisions that have afforded me greater freedom than most people I think.  I have gotten away with a lot of things I don't think most folks would think risk worthy.  I feel liberated by materialistic values and tied to very little in my life.  I think I've learned from that to actually value material things.  From this chip?  I dunno.  It almost seems like a wasted experiment.  I could have guessed that people would behave in that way.  It didn't develop into anything more.  I did notice people with gaps in their teeth more.  Politicians, actors.  There's a few out there.  Highly regarded too.  My step dad has a chipped tooth that he's never fixed for as long as I've know him.  Maybe I was brought up to think that's normal or something.  I have the most tense relationship with that guy.  I don't know how he can go around with that.  That's it.  Now I understand.  I understand the guy a little better.  Maybe he doesn't like himself.  Maybe he thinks less of himself.  It relates to another topic all together but I think I understand now...

Girls don't like a chipped tooth.  I've made out with three girls since having this chip.  One of them is as blind as a bat and said it didn't bother her.  She's trippy enough that I believe her but the other two kept noticing it and then I felt self conscious again.  Kissing is no fun when you feel self conscious about a little tiny chip in your tooth.  It makes you feel gross and lacking.  You really miss out on one of the greatest joys in life.  I think that's the main reason why I have to get this thing fixed.  I have to keep the girls at a distance.

I wish their was some deeper meaning to share.  It's obvious what you get with something bizarre like that.  But I lived it and know it and have shared with the world so you know not to let your teeth go uncared for and to maintain a clean grooming standard.  People won't pay you as much respect and you'll feel grody when you make out with someone.  Maybe someday I'll feel inspired to advocate dental health to people.

I'll go and get this thing fixed and the people that wouldn't give me the time of day will once again.  It'll be a like a switch.  I've seen this happen four times before.  I'm just going to have to accept it.  Maybe I was hoping people would see past it.  To remind people not to be so shallow.  If we do that we put ourselves up for judgement.  But, that's the way it is.  A little dose of cold reality medicine.  I think I needed that.  Time's getting on and I can't keep on doing these experiments to my body like this.  The cost of things is catching up and I fear losing the things I've been accustomed to.  I still want to live hard.  I'll just have to find another outlet for this complex I have with living an experimental lifestyle.  I want to make a new me.  All the best parts.  Skip the pain and the sorrow.  Screw it.  I want the good things that I've denied myself.  I'm tired of suffering.  Limitations have taught me many things and one of the most valuable lessons I think I've learned in my life is that limitations are good but that life has a limitless potential.  

I'm going to remake myself.  I've been turned on to makeover TV shows by my roommate.  I never cared much about my appearance before.  I always took it for granted.  I'm not super handsome.  I'm not ugly.  Some girls think I'm cute.  But I've pursued a spiritual life and that is one of the tenures of that livelihood; to look past the surface and into the soul.  But the soul is developed over time in your body.  All throughout your life.  It's how you perceive things and that in turn is partly by how you yourself are perceived.  It's not something that you can ignore completely.  It's a part of nature.  How you look.  Appearances.  How painful.  For some it's tops and it just doesn't get any better as far as options go.  For others it's a curse.  How lonesome to feel unwanted.  Maybe we all wish to be judged on an equal level.  It's wishful thinking but maybe that's how we want heaven to be.  Or Utopia.  It's an ideal to not judge someone by their appearance.  I for one have found many doors open to me as a reward for my openmindedness.  But that's not everybody.  Most of the world doesn't operate that way. at least not currently.  Life can be cruel.  It can be harsh.  Makeover shows and cosmetics and all that girly stuff, for however much I hate it, is a godsend for millions of women.  It can increase their self esteem tremendously.  I see them radiate when they parade about at the end of the shows like a piece of meat.  Just because I have a hard time seeing it from the shallow end doesn't mean I can take it for granted anymore.  I have to maintain a decent grooming practice.  I look like a slob.  I am dressed down from how I feel most comfortable.  Comfortable isn't necessarily a t-shirt or old jeans.  That's on your skin but real comfort is how YOU feel inside.  That's the guide.  Do you feel a little more attractive after you've done yourself up?  Even just a little bit better?  

I normally spend about half a minute in front of a mirror anymore.  I used to spend hours in front of them but I had to try something new to keep myself entertained.  I kept my hair short and that saves so much prep time in the morning at least.  I have to care about how other people see me.  Life might revolve around me, it's hard to prove or disprove, but if it does, I think I'd want to live in a world where people will let me know if I look out of whack.  It only helps me to care for myself.  Dental health is a good thing, kids.  There I go already.

The phrase "cut your teeth" means you're learning something for the first time.  I sort of see my life like it's the first time all the time.  Living in the present.  However in this case I think it means that I'm growing up.  I can't afford to pursue every new thing that comes up.  I have to settle down somehow.  One of my most terrifying thoughts.  I guess I've hit a certain age or something.  I can't act like a kid forever no matter how much I'd love to.  I'm sure getting older has some cool plusses too.  But I'll never know unless I know how to take care of myself better,  right?  Both spiritually and physically.  Mind and body.  Both are one.

I think I wanted to know what it was like to have low self esteem.  It's not something I think I've ever really known.  I've always felt good about myself and I think that's the only thing that's kept me going this long.  But I can't go on any longer this way or I won't be able to pull myself back up.  I know what it feels like to be a piece of shit.  No one is a piece of shit.  When you feel bad though, you aren't as capable of doing some of the things you could be.  I know more now what it's like to be judged on your appearances.  How painful it is.  How cruel and inhumane.  To be a responsible person comes with responsibilities.  And some responses involve having to take care of yourself better.

Society has a lot to say.  Built into it are values.  They come across in strange ways but they exist for a reason whether we like it or not.  We just have to live with it.  I'm glad I have the freedom to find out more about myself and others around me.  The world is showing me tough love.  Just the way I like it.  You can chose how you want to live.  I've chosen a way that I don't recommend to anybody.  I haven't respected myself lately.  Appearances are important.  However shallow they may appear they do have meaning.  How you present yourself says a lot about yourself.  I never really considered the potential detriment it would have to my emotions and self esteem.  

Everything in my life revolves around a little chip in my tooth.  It's so odd.  It even sounds odd to me.  The whole premise of going a year with that.  I must really hate myself or be a glutton for punishment.  I'm done with that.  I want to keep living.  I have to put aside things that are going to hold me back.  I've done some other things in order to handicap myself in society that I'll share further on down the road.  Limitations and or handicaps are a strange way of learnings things but they work.  They only go so far too.  I think I've learned as much as I want to learn.  Possibly too much.  

I can't wait to be reborn.  It's so simple too.  It's like a 10 minute procedure at most.  That's all it's going to take for me I think.  I'll be able to start from the bottom with a healthy feeling about myself which is what I want to do.  I want to see if it's possible to start from the bottom with just a positive mental attitude.  But I have to get to the bottom first.  I think I'm there.  At least as far as I'm willing to go and as far as my beaten self esteem can handle.  I believe in the power of humanity so much that I think you can do just about anything.  Maybe I'm an artistic, philosophical thrill seeker.  But if I can make good in the world by these simple means alone that I live by, then I think it could be an example of hope and lead to a better world.  If anything I think It'd make for a great story in general for my life.  I'd like to be remembered for being able to work with hardly anything and by using my head to solve a situation using simple methods.  I'm at the bottom I think.  I feel sad all the time.  That's not good.  Time to do something.  I look forward to going to the dentist.  My ironic life.  

DREAM MACHINE

i am tired 

i can't fall asleep

i have t go in early

i don't want to go

what was the plan

stuffy headed lucky ticket

in the gutter

stuffy cloud

lawn shame on the street

no dryness for hours timed right

black out mid conversation

found a twink amongst the ink

i'll take it and make it mine

i won't ask the questions that interfere 

you both love in your hearts

a magnet pulling your orbits

you may come complete

two channels meet at sea

so many pages and the magnets still hold on

just a look is all i ask

and move on to happier death

is it worth it

two circles

two sizes

neither claims to budge

still drawing nearer

mirror stunt trick

moon daze

sign language gift shop

rabbit cat

whisker magic

heads up displacement

look out ducks

bright yellow black road rage

fellow angel high five

make demons bend over

OPPORTUNITIES REBOUND

a second chance

to set things right

opportunities abound

to make peace from a fight

left her wings home today

another tongue

if it weren't for your words

the song couldn't be sung

paying attention

chopstick the fly in the air

be here now

grasp the yellow present moment

ironed wrinkles

path lit by twinkles

crazy island

break before the finish

for theatre aside kicks

HIGHER VOLTAGE

Another sneezy day.  Off to brunch by the tracks.  The rain was soothing and I stopped to take a couple pictures of the sidewalk covered with the pink petals.  I wish I was quick enough to take those shots the other day.  That still bothers me.  I got a better booth than the one I was shown and had a few cinnnnamon rolls and some coffee.  When you showed up you were so yellow and bright.  You were the sun on this rainy day, true dat.  You looked so beautiful and bright it was hard to face you head on.  Like a clever on my gaze you make me go left or right.  I'm always afraid that if I dare face you I'll fall into your magnetic body and struggle and resign and align.  I use all of my strength on holding myself back from kissing you.  Too bad, you got me.  The hazards of having friends with super powers.  

We order the food from a former co-worker of mine and gab.  You order what I had last time I was here.  Exactly.  We're trying hard to avoid the elephants.  Neither one of us feels like hunting anyway.  It is good to catch up and hear what's going on in your world.  How you've been applying yourself.  And it's elegant how you start everyday and every conversation with such openness.  I get so nervous around you.  I don't know why.  And then I feel so calm.  All in the same minute.

So this is the strange part.  I don't know if you control it or if you channel it or what but you say things that are so serendipitous to the rest of my outside world that I can't help but notice the coincidences.  I think you speak for some sort of godly being sometimes.  Some other world.  You said things that reminded me of this conversation I had with my parents earlier this week.  Which is even odder because during that conversation my parents said things that reminded me of the things you said before that.  I was trying not to think of you the few days prior as we were having a little meditative break from each other.  Me, trusting your advice, appreciates the ability to step back from a possibly dangerous situation and let the moment pass.  Even though it can hurt sometimes on the receiving end, it's for the best and gives you back you level head.  I wound up giving my mom the same advice that you were doing for me in regards to her conversation with my sister. They were having an email battle.

My sister, which is the big issue right now, with her kitty scratched wrists and litter of eleven kittens, is raging and railing against my folks.  Saying things that hurt.  Things that are private.  Not on a blog.  It's a fragile situation.  Things that affect me too.  You remind me of things when you talked of you kittehs.  I don't want to think about these things.  You say words that bump up against my memories and stir them awake.  I stir my mimosa.  

I think about some of the dumb, stubborn decisions I made as a kid.  How they shaped me forever more.  Early childhood development stuff.  You know.  I really screwed myself in a lot of ways.  I just have to have faith that the right thing to do was my plan all along.  I just need the strength and inspiration and the incentive.  I did this all for art's sake.  I had to take it to another level.  I had to take the play off the stage.  I had to act like myself as theatrically as I could but they all still looked to the stage.  And giving myself away like that.  Everything I have I give.  Money is the worst.  How many people do you know that compulsively give away money?  I'm screwy, that's for sure.  I self sabotage myself in order to make it harder.  In order so that I can overcome that.  Maybe I'm overly ambitious.  

My mind starts to grow darker and I think back to my sister and my mom and my step dad and the mistakes we made when we were all younger.  How it hurts and how we try to make things right.  I want to listen to you but the conversation in my head is getting louder and every thing I hear from you is a word that reminds me of what I'm reminded of.  I get dizzy in the feedback loop and the scrapple isn't helping.  Neither are the mimosas.  These things I think of shaped me as a kid.  Things I don't want to think.  I'll send you a psychic link right now.  Know what I'm thinking?  This topic came up as it was bound to.  It'll all work out.  I felt like a god or a judge talking to my parents, hearing them throw up their hands, asking what to do.  It was all backwards and sad.  I hear you say more things that are almost like a varied copy of the conversation just a few days before which was a copy of another conversation.  It's dawning on me that I have dark memories.  That this all could have been different.  I could be different.  I am a result of a result.  Some things are out of my control.  No wonder I try so hard.  

All these people stirring around and I can't look at you because I'm embarrassed.  I can't think straight.  A dam in my mind cracks and I am overcome with a wave of suppressed memories and I'm drowning.  Which reminds me of the time I drowned.  Why so much now?  The dominoes?  I don't want to think about it.  I survived anyway.  But they hurt now.  All of them.  I'm being drawn into the battle and already taking hits.  I want to focus on you.  I wish I could just have a normal day with you.  We are intense aren't we?  We carry around a lot of invisible baggage.  Sometimes I know it all happens for a reason.  So intensely sometimes that I feel I must act.  That I have to be responsable and follow that lead.

Even though we haven't know each other that long, I feel like I've know you for a long time.  It's like we each were fighting in separate wars and crawled away injured.  Strong enough to ward off smaller prey we sought refuge to lick our wounds.  And there we met.  Same soul story.  I don't want you to see me weak.  And I you.  Or you I.  Or whatever.  I don't think you are.  There are things best unsaid we feel.  We share a window into another world maybe.  I'm sure we do.  Teamwork.  You see me fading fast.  You got my back.  My pride.  I didn't think I had any.  You pull me to safety, noticing my darting eyes and incoherence.  I couldn't even do simple math with the bill.  And how do I act?  I'm reminded of where we left off and what should I do?  What's the etiquette?  Just get me out of here.  I don't think I've ever felt this way before.  I don't like it.  It's too much at once.  I'm overloading I think.  Juggling the ones I love and the pressure to set things right.  I'm afraid I'll do more damage.  I am not impartial.  But I am sputtering right now.

I'm so embarrassed for who I've become.  And today I feel proud even though I try to never feel pride.  I felt it within reach.  A new angle.  I could wear it like that.  I shouldn't have ruined myself.  I shouldn't have thought of myself as a lab experiment.  I shouldn't have pushed myself to the end.  But I did.  And I've learned a lot.  The same things I thought I'd remember from when I was a kid.  The things I have to remember now.  I can see the future.  Fuck.  Why couldn't I just be wrong about all those things?  I'm glad I'm right.  I go back and forth dizzy again.  

I'm so ashamed of myself.  I shouldn't be.  All these emotions are coming at me full on and this allergy headache isn't helping.  You are so strong.  I'm lucky to have you as my friend.  I think we must need each other in some way.  It's a shame about the circumstances but they are what they are.  I know I need you now.  Get me out of this place.  Why did I have to refuse medications so passionately?  I wish I was numb right now.  I don't want to feel.  I should just take some pills and walk around not feeling pain and depression.  That'd be a change of pace.  I hurt so bad.  I can't even talk about it on a blog anonymously.  Please don't look at me.  I want to hide and ponder and smoke cigarettes and drink a hot coffee.  And smoke pot and drink more.  That wouldn't help though.  I wish I was normal so bad sometimes!  

I wish I had a normal relationship with you.  I think maybe we are super heroes when we aren't near each other.  Subtle heroes with precision.  Who spend their time out there fighting in the spiritual world and all the while trying to let a little light shine in.  We say we don't fight.  Not in the usual way.  We use the powers we have.  Good guy powers.  But we come back to lick our wounds still.  You must be slaying out there or you won't let me see your wounds now.  That's ok, were a little psychic anyway.  I won't say.  Right now I just need your healing powers.  Sorry and thanks for looking out.  I'm just dealing with a big monster right now.  You know how that is right?  I know you've fought monsters.  

I see more differences between us.  I'm glad to see them actually.  It's the gift of knowledge you can share with me.  The gift of showing yourself to me which is how we see the world.  Sort of like a second camera angle of the same event.  We are some odd fellows.  Both strong in our undefined ways.  I'm less alone knowing you.  I feel like I want to get stronger and fight our psychic battles side by side from time to time.  I feel like I owe you one.  Not like we're keeping score.  I feel honoured to living in this world with you.  I want to trust and I've let myself be worked over because of that trust.  So I put up some barriers to people in order to protect myself from myself.  We say some crazy wacked out shit to each other but I feel compelled to trust you.  If you told me 2 plus 2 was 5  I'd have to consider it.  You've given me advice that I didn't want to hear before and it worked all because I trusted you.  You are my second opinion from time to time.  I'll try to listen harder.  We share a common language.  I'm sorry I was deadpan.  I think I might have lost people's trust by doing that in the past. 

Most super heroes are guys.  I have super weird feelings sometimes when I'm next to you.  They're a horny, philosophical, magical and tumultuous batch of feelings that I have no idea what to do with but I like that I have them.

I need to go back into my frozen soul I put away as a kid.  I want to warm up and not feel the frigid pains of my mistakes and misfortunes.  I want to forgo the burdens of my past and be active as I should be, unencumbered and open, not wounded and hiding.  You must be slaying out there.  I misjudged you on some level of fragility.  Please know that I am stronger than most.  This is just a little breather I'm taking.  Our secret?  People expect a lot from me.  I'll tell everyone how bad ass you are if you need to rest too, ok?  Your peaceful battle stories inspire me in my fights for peace sometimes, when I'm out there.  I want to share rewards with you.  It's nothing, there are so many.

Here I am all talking about you again.  I don't mean for it.  You speak to me in a voice bigger than a humans.  This is the reason I quake at your word.  You mirror the rest of my world so well.  Talking to you I can solve my problems.  I can see them for what they are. 

Today I thought about things from my childhood that I hadn't thought about in years and years.  Things I had forgotten.  Things I must be reminded of now for some reason yet to come I'm sure as it always is.  It hurt really bad.  I felt a little embarrassed feeling that way in front of you but only because it was in public.  I don't think you pity me at all.  I'm sorry if you felt like you set me off with something you said or did.  Yeah, but it only reminded me of my past.  You couldn't have done it on purpose or meant anything by it.  It was just coincidence.  Or something.

I lay in my bed hours later, sniffing from the pollen in the air.  I think of what a goddess you looked like today.  Yellow is hard for a lot of people to pull off.  You wore it exceptionally well.  I think you are so beautiful sometimes.  Even as friends I can't help but take notice of you.  You make me think of lemon joy today.  You were the brightest moment of today.  You were my hero today.  Looking out for me and pulling me out of the crossfire in my head.  A victim of my own surpresed memory awaking from a long slumber.  I had my back to it.  You, looking.   I see how I am to kill this beast I am fighting.  Kindness as always.  I must tend to my  family and repair old wounds.  This is an opportunity that I can't pass up on and I must act swiftly and with precision!  I don't know if I'll have any more chances at this in my life.  This means a lot to me.  I must face my demons.  I can't be angry.  I wish I could talk about it here.  All I can see is a chance for a happy ending and I know what I have to do even though it's going to hurt.  I'm going to take your new advice that you probably don't even know you gave me and run with it.  I don't know how you do it but sometimes you just say the things I really need to hear.  However I may faint like those people being healed on the televangelist shows from the sound of your mighty voice.  I have a chance to fix things in my life. 

WANNABE TWEETS

give and take or just give and give

i need a metaphor

i want to live lie like it's a commercial

deprication to new lows

with all the crap going on we piss on the handle before we flush

jiggle the handle

Peons

if i was a bird, i would spend my whole life learning how to make fart sounds with my wing-pit

happy may month

express yourself in a cliche way.  i like cliches.

board games can be boring sometimes

you got the magic touch

i hear be a poseur

think the unthinkable

don't sleep and drive

pepper bacon.  even better.

juicy love, pumping iron

cow pies or cow pudding?

turbo baby selling tv's 

i have time to do things but i don't think slacking is a good idea.  so why am i doing it?

when gay people day dream do they gaydream?

i shouldn't be prejudiced against prejudiced people

flip through the channels, flop on the couch

you have a right to bare squirtguns

i was planning on leaving soon but i don't know i'll go

chain reaction

here come spotty showers, swiss cheese sky

you are right and everybody else is right at the same time.  it's a crazy world.  how else do you explain it?

omg!  george clooney and bono!

don't everybody take the lead at once

this isn't the news, this is two jerk offs talking shit

is it all right if i have one of your beers?

go for a drive out into the country and turn off the lights and see the stars

i hope that you don't get dolphin flu

get a big chinese hat

a spin off of a spin off of a spin off

is california real?

sometimes i forget that all the bullshit that people do is a freedom that is worth defending

be even more amazing

land a successful mate.  that ship wreck looked deadly.

everything you've seen you want to do

i went to the park i went to the jungle i had too many plans that turned into a bungle

BACK TO SCRATCH

I've been painting this canvas for the past couple of hours trying to get the colour just right.  It is the colour of future.  That's what I call it but most would say it's "erie decent."  I used some plastic grocery store bags and a ziplock bag and I bunched them up and sort of smooshed the paint into the canvas giving it a bit of texture that's drying into... canvas.  It was a little more distinct than that but woop dee doo.

I want to turn this into a collage because I like to do collages.  I don't know what to put on there.  I don't even know if I have any magazines....

The rain had brought out the jungle in town.  Everything that could grow was growing as green as a Lepruchan.  Bugs were partying like there was no tomorrow and it smelled like a grill was getting fired up over the fence.  Bird song made the air into libretto, notations, melody.  Life.  Teenage life.  Yeah, Spring showed up, making her/his presence felt.  Not even a moon ago were there any real buds to speak of on the branches and now?  Teaming.  Loud with the business of heated human beings.  Vibrations on the roads and parking lots.  At the counter and in a charge.  These are the days of activity.  When we can do things.

"The Derby is today sir," Max reminded.  His new blue exterior not fully appreciable in this early light.

"I know.  I've been waiting for this all week and now I feel like crap.  I...."  I couldn't decide.

"Don't know if you're going?"  Max finished.

"Yeah.  Yeah.  I...  I think I'm going to give myself a little bit to wake up and see how I feel.  There's other things I could get done today."  I looked down at my feet.  The became self conscious of my attitude and looked up.  As if that helps.

"Fetch the guitar?  Cheer yourself up, sir?"  Max asked with the usual nonintrusive manner in which he was selected for.

"Nah.  But you could put on some music.  Hip hop.  One of the ones at the bottom.  Loud.  Ungh!  I need to wake up!"

"Streaming...BeatBasement..."

I walked on over to the Window with my tea, saw Mrs. Scottsdale and nodded.  She was walking her yellow lab like she always does.  I still think she saw my awkward boner through my robe a couple weeks ago.  We never talk.  It doesn't matter.  She probably thought it was funny.

It wasn't until about eight o'clock at night that I woke up.  The sniffles and itchiness got under my skin, slowing me down to near zero.  I kept myself busy in my small room.  Glad I know myself.  I just multitasked the day away, chasing my own tail in circles.

Now night was here and the tall woods woman was to visit.  Her voice could guide you through a canyon on Mars and her hug is gentle for a tall woman's.  The others were cleaning up and cooking stew, making ready for visit.  Max was busy playing video games.  Most robots aren't allowed to do that but I think he should be able to experience our interests as well.  Besides, we all could use the exercise.  I like to heat up.  It's the only time they show any energy, when people are coming over.  Otherwise, the couch is the opiate of the masses.  I wish they made more noise.  It's so quiet around here.  I need a late night place.  I'm in the mood for recording some music.

Mmmm.  Turkey and mushroom soup.  She's got some serious cooking skills.  There are benefits to cohabitation.  I don't even like mushrooms.

It's time to invest in some serious change.  This seems to me like it might be the best time to reevaluate and self edit.  The world's been coming to a head like a shaken bottle of beer.  We watch our feet for fear of slipping off the edge.  What's the future hold?  A goody bag of imagination?  More fun?  I want to invest well.  Find potential values.  See the worth early on.  The wave I want to surf has got to be right for me.  I want to ride it all the way into shore.  

BACK FROM VACATION TO NOWHERE

I'm fuckin' back.  So what, I took a vacation.  It's good to get away from it all and step back and soak it all in.  As you all know I've been rocking the Twitter lately but I thinks me getting bored with it.  Time to rock the Blogger for a bit.

I've got paint on my fingers.  And I need some superglue to fix my sunglasses.  Dang thing fell apart and it's easily fixed.  Trying to think of what else I need to get on this excursion.  I can't think clearly.  I know I'm hungry but all they have around here is McKlingon's and Ratsticks and I'm burn out on them.  Remember small size?  Ah, well.  Oh, I need a new belt.

I've been feeling sick the past day or two.  I think it's allergies but could be that toxiplasma acting up.  When you have a beard your nose gets sniffly easier I've noticed.  I think the pollen just sits there under your nose, loitering about.  I just sneezed all over my laptop.